Entry - Poetic Republic Poetry Prize 2014

Caulking

by Natalie Charlesworth

She turns her eyes from the letter

resting on the table, draws inwards,

as the sea-snail in its shell.

Curls her fingers tight over

the sill and watches the play

of water-drop waves

on condensation-streaked glass.

Considers that she will become

only a name, an undeveloped

negative, will disperse

like sea-foam on the wind.

Closes her eyes and, in the sea-shell

silence of her ears, hears the sound

of rain on windowpanes, of sea wind

tap-dancing through the gaps

in the frames and prays in

salt-songs for something

she knows is already slipping away.

 

Added: 30.04.2014

Judges' comments on this poem

20.05.2014

nice, disturbing, meaningful and strange all in one. good job.

20.05.2014

This is already slipping away

21.05.2014

Intruiging title draws in reader. Lovely juxtaposition between self and sea-snail with water and being. Beautiful imagery. Pleasing gestalt where the poem has closed up the joins and gaps of the situation.

23.05.2014

An evocative poem. Wonderful imagery.

29.05.2014

Very beautiful.

29.05.2014

A strong image of the undeveloped negative. Doesn't over-explain.

02.06.2014

Lovely images, moving delightful language. really a second equal choice - perhaps rhythm could be enhanced, and some space created.

04.06.2014

Very well written, delicate verse. Missed my top 3 against strong competition, but I did enjoy it.

04.06.2014

Very evocative with good line breaks. A few less hyphens and less a few overused "sea" - words and it would be quite perfect.

05.06.2014

This reads really well, filled with feeling, loss and yearning. A lovely poem.

05.06.2014

Powerful, evocative.

07.06.2014

I like this poem.

07.06.2014

Excellent poem, a well-paced and structured exploration of a difficult theme: death, or impending death. Still, there are certain problems. I especially dislike the repetition of the word 'sea' towards the end. Also, the ubiquitous 's' alliterations are somewhat overused.

07.06.2014

"undeveloped negative" is an interesting image, but it may jar with the water imagery. not sure. I think it works as both an accessible poem and as a very personal poem with undisclosed depth markings.

07.06.2014

I like the mood of this, it has the feel of nothing lasting though I'm not exactly sure.

11.06.2014

Atmospheric. Good command of language: phrases/ cadence/ imagery etc.

12.06.2014

Beautiful projection of life's impermanence .

12.06.2014

I couldn't stop reading this poem. It really pulls the reader in!

13.06.2014

Interesting, deep poem

16.06.2014

Liked the line "draws inwards, as the sea-snail in its shell".

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