Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2010

barren

by jamie shaw

There is a half empty
Vodka bottle
 on the coffee table
between the three of us.
 
Carlotta, Jo and I
are soft with the drink,
slow and tired
by way too much laughter.
 
There is a pause
when Carlotta tells us
with a shudder
she is barren.
 
She relies on Cassidy,
her rescued greyhound,
to get her through
each aching day.
 
To fill the emptiness
creeping from her belly
through each vein
to her starving heart.
 
The three of us
are drunk and quiet,
the stale laughter echoes
in the serious silence.
 
Carlotta shakes her head
and makes to leave
but we hold her, tight
and she begins to cry.

Added: 05.03.2010

Judges' comments on this poem

05.05.2010

An incredibly poignant poem.

06.05.2010

Ok

08.05.2010

This works best in the simplest descriptions of action & scene. The stanzas about filling the emptiness don't seem so authentic or necessary

10.05.2010

I love the sustained melancholy and the culminating line with its sadness arising from the atmosphere of the rest of the poem...

26.05.2010

this captures a difficult moment between friends which such honesty and beauty - good job!

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