Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2010

Fruitless Hate

by Zac Alison

All around me here there lies,
Plants and trees and gentle breeze,
A haven made for love and waves,
Of happy thoughts and words we crave,
To pass from me to you to them,
Anger, spite, distaste condemned, but
Still I see the blackened curse, that
Lies beneath the face of Earth,
Inside the minds of feeble men,
Who seem to see no right from wrong, and
Write and speak their words of hate,
Into a world that holds no place,
For needles filled with substance made,
To poison blood of those who say,
"I do not see how this can be,
A tender life with such desire,
To rip through happiness,
Like deadly barbed wire".

The self esteem of her decays,
With him and you and us and we,
Designed to be a family, but
Our bonds are breaking with such ease,
Our closeness grows apart, defeat,
A war with only enemies, and
I see no end to this,
An empty shell of what I miss,
When people had the heart to think,
That nothing good,
Can spur from hate...

Added: 11.03.2010

Judges' comments on this poem


Check for consecutive upbeats, and sing-song rhythm. I liked the rhythm of "to rip through happiness..." but would be better w/ stanza break