Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2010

“In a Day”

by Donald Falconer

Those eyes I saw, those eyes I knew, those eyes
I kissed a thousand times, but in a day
I knew those eyes would shine in other skies
and leave my feet to tread in winters way.
Those arms I held, those arms I felt, those arms
kept me warm in the night, but in a day
I knew those arms would hold another in its charms
and leave my body to seek warmth another way.
Those lips were mine, those lips I had, those lips
I touched a thousand times, but in a day
I knew those lips would be another’s eclipse
and leave me with light that would soon fade away.
But now I know that I am not alone
and if love is true, it outlasts skin and bone.

Added: 15.04.2010

Judges' comments on this poem

07.05.2010

lilting rhythm, but appropriate, good use of repetition, try for a couple of stanza breaks.

12.05.2010

I love the pattern this poem is built on, but there are some problems (often rhyme-related), eg "arms would hold another in *its charms*".

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