Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2010

A Map On Closed Eyes

by Mark Kirby

Seared across my eyelids, like lightning in the dark,
past memories strike, delivering stories and lies.
Why is it every time I close my eyes,
I bleed a little more inside?
Why is it every smile is jaded with
hauting surprise?

I reach out for my creator, my Father.
I am His child, He is my heart.
Why do I hold on to what I know,
when I am called to just let go?
The future is not the past,
but the present is!

To wake up in the land of the living,
is to escape the domain of darkness...
each time I sit and close my eyes,
a map inscibes,
across the lids shielding my sight;
an itinerary to nowhere!

So many stories; yarns best forgotten,
already forgiven, recalled in a moment,
to hang my life
by a thread of judgement,
before the eyes of my soul.
Where is the light to cut the noose?

If my eyes aren't fixed, open
on the guiding direction,
I would be a cause, drowned
in the past, stolen from the present.
Curse the darkness, on the insides
of my blinkered eyes!

I MUST wake up,
I WILL wake up,
I'm trying to open my eyes,
BUT first I MUST
wipe the lids clean,
and loosen the crusts of yesterday

Added: 24.04.2010

Judges' comments on this poem


Some really good concepts here, but I feel the poem needs a tighter edit. Some lines, eg "jaded with/ hauting surprise" don't quite work.


Some good imagery, but there are a couple of spelling errors, which I don't think are intentional.