Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2010

Bit Part in a Historical Re-enactment

by Jake Conrad


A rough brown shawl hung down her front
exposing
her breasts' edges

as she span course dough
cooked on hot rocks

(the ancestor of flatbread).

Our meagre home between
the uplands and the plains

would be the perfect place to settle
and enjoy a relative prosperity

(or so the narrator said).

I pretended to help propagate
the best of the berry bushes

before demonstrating
I was handy with a slingshot,

although unfortunately
I don't think she noticed me

as I retrieved those expertly
smoothed rocks

and headed off

towards the minibar
aboard the minibus.

Added: 30.04.2010

Judges' comments on this poem

06.05.2010

A great snapshot of a moment of unrequited love/lust!

06.05.2010

Enjoyed this a lot

25.05.2010

This is a great subject, but the line breaks are sometimes inexplicable.Do breasts have edges?

26.05.2010

I enjoyed this poem, thank you.

31.05.2010

Liked this a lot. Compelling,original. Loved its sounds and rhythmns, and great sardonic humour of ending. Maybe change breasts "edges"?

06.06.2010

The inherent humour makes this poem very likeable.

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