MAG Poetry Competition 2011 – Shortlisted Poem

Echoes of You

by Kriss Nichol

Echoes of you visited me today
in the rain whispering at my window.
Cats’ paws of wind chasing leaves
in the garden uncovered shadows of your smile
and the nothing around me turned cold.
 
Last week, light pricking through lace
curtains of air carried smells of sex,
and night, bumping against bricks,
left sounds of your laughter, splintering
the surface of my sleep.
 
This morning I found beads of dreams
abandoned under the kitchen sink.
I cannot bring myself to tidy them away
so leave them for spiders to play with
and return to my cobwebbed existence.

Added: 06.01.2011

Judges' comments on this poem

04.05.2011

I like the image in the first verse of cats paws and wind - some images didn't quite ring true, e.g the bricks/laughter/splintering

23.05.2011

Thought the final stanza was very strong, loved 'beads of dreams.' Felt some of the lang/imagery in stanzas 1 & 2 was a bit cliched.

26.05.2011

Some nice imagery here.

27.05.2011

I particularly loved the imagery in this poem, the last verse is very atmospheric and the whole poem is sensual and haunting.

08.06.2011

Some lovely images eg cats paw, and evocative of loss and how to carry on.

08.06.2011

Sensitive, touching.

08.06.2011

Lovely sounds and images, esp. "cat's paws of wind" and "beads of dreams". Good vivid atmosphere created and maintained.

08.06.2011

This poem seems short but sweet, but there is something about this poem that I really like!

09.06.2011

I liked the various images and metaphors but they didnt always hang together for me. The ending was good but returned to the self too much.

09.06.2011

Though a little prosaic in places, this poem creates a convincing atmosphere and a sense of repressed emotion.

09.06.2011

Very moving & almost makes it. Lovely second verse.

10.06.2011

Strong imagery- "Cats' paws of wind..."is especially gorgeous- thank you!

10.06.2011

The last two lines are my favourite- with a lovely playfulness and circularity about them.

10.06.2011

Some great images...very sad over all, but nicely expressed.

11.06.2011

A wonderful poem. Terrific, unusual images - cats paws of wind, the night bumping into walls, beads of dreams. Fresh, surprising, sad.

14.06.2011

I dig the "beads of dreams" metaphor.

14.06.2011

I like the atmosphere of this poem but some images - splintering the surface of sleep - didn't quite ring true for me.

17.06.2011

'..beads of dreams under the sink..' - what a beautiful original line..

17.06.2011

lovely poem.

18.06.2011

loved the metaphors, cats paws, beads of dreams. Understated and thoughtful.

18.06.2011

Enjoyed the sensory "mash-up" here.Very evocative.Distinct echoes of Miss Haversham for me. She travels far and wide! In my last top 4.

Email:

Share:

Back