Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2011

Beware a Lingering Eye

by Zebidee Jones

Sitting in the brown stained
Coffee lazy smoking room
There happened upon a freckled
Lass, brown, blond, mousy mess
Of a fellow smoker,
A Marlboro lighted toker
Who chatted to a bloke and
Other indiscriminate folks.
So I took in the conversation,
All very friendly, polite
Inconsequentially trendy.
One cigarette finished, another took
Stubbed and finally put out, cooked.
When she smiled and then addressed me,
Whilst all alone just we,
She actually looked my way,
It was surprisingly strange to say,
That she looked twice, then lingered,
Just like pointing with her fingers,
Eye to eye,
Couldn’t suss my smoking spy,
Although I glimpsed a reason why,
We spoke with longing eyes, lustful
Green, grey skies, very close,
Could be lying near, leaving me excited
With canny fear.

Added: 23.02.2011

Judges' comments on this poem


The poet really invites the reader in - very clear imagery, I could smell the smoke