Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2011

Inconspicuous

by Leyla Gittins

I could be offended by your backstabbing bitchiness
Making me feel as though I’m inconspicuous
And I could always cry about your eyes that judge
And feel hopeless that I remain the object of your grudge
But what makes your bitter, selfish hearts tick true
Is reaction, weakness and probably devotion to you
And quite simply I refuse, I decline and I object
I’m sure that it’s a shock for you to have someone reject
And though I’m sure your narrow minds haven’t the capacity to say
I’m sure that you’ll appreciate my honesty one day
I could pretend that I never felt the hurt that you intended
And that your animal behaviour was ‘positively splendid’!
But who would I be if I could lie like you?
If I was able to deceive people just like you?
For on the outside looking in I’m sure there is no sweeter
That rosy demeanour is not the face of a cheater
And that chirpy exterior all flutter and flounce
Could never muster the wickedness to pounce
And who am I to prove that wrong and break your false facade?
Who would I be if I was to just rain on your parade?
Well then I guess that I would be a miniature of you
An amateur at being false, who didn’t have a clue
So I’ll just watch and wait a while, I’ll sit back and relax
And hope that it takes time to reveal those secret, nasty cracks
And I’ll witness your whole world incinerated to an ember
And when you’re at your lowest, I’ll ask you if you remember, I’ll say
‘Now does it feel worth it, to have given me no chance?
Are you happy that you damaged me with every screw-faced glance?
Do you feel like you achieved exactly what you wanted now?
Are you proud to wipe my blood and sweat and tears from off your brow?’
And I could ramble on forever about your punishment from karma
I could use your insecurities to breakaway your armour
But instead I’ll reach my hand out and I’ll help you to your feet
I’ll listen to your devastation; I’ll walk you down the street
I won’t look into your desperate eyes and only feel the rage
I’ll ask what I can do to help, I’ll free you from your cage
I’ll try my hardest to forget all of the pain and misused trust
I will try to use the memories of those times to adjust
I won’t fight you, I won’t scold you, I won’t even walk away
I won’t tell you, you can trust me and then when they ask I’ll say
Because I could be offended by your backstabbing bitchiness
But now you know just how it feels to be so inconspicuous.

Added: 10.03.2011

Judges' comments on this poem

09.05.2011

Absolutely loved it!!!! So Powerful and on point.

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