Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2011

Making love on planet earth

by Gwen Williams

As a race
they are obssessed with love
which they fabricate secretly in pairs
and occasionally threes.

Love is crafted
mainly by the smooth people,
groomed in this by the TV and other boxes,
in beds, in cars and ,
if urgent,
in thick vegetation
on the way home
from their drinking house.

It starts with an exchange of energy
through the eyes
or rubbing faces together
to create a friction.

Then it is not certain
whether they can remove
their outer skins in time.

Once made, it helps them sleep or
is a prelude for setting fire
to paper sticks which they suck
and make glow
like the masks they now wear.

It is hard to tell from the masks
and their cries
whether the love made
is a good or bad product.

Then one leaks from the eyes
and one turns their back.

Added: 14.04.2011

Judges' comments on this poem

04.05.2011

Excellent use of the 'Martian' form to inject comedy and pathos into the same poem

17.05.2011

Great idea and some lovely insights. Final couplet strong, too but some images a bit clumsy in the middle

17.05.2011

Great poem.Love the space before that comma to keep pace.Try removing the last 2 lines - I think it'll improve this fine piece.

19.05.2011

Could have used a polish, but nice poem.

27.05.2011

Enticing, alien view - looking at the world from an outsider's eye - fascinating

Email:

Share:

Back