Entry - MAG Poetry Prize 2011

Dawn

by Sian James

 
Last night we stayed up so late we were there to watch the cars drive in.
In apathetic early morning dark they nosed their bumpy shadows into our space where we stood
With red eyes, tousled hair, no shoes.
Voices broken and dry.
The headlights were dull and sad and they winked at us, for they knew, soon, we would be dull and sad too.
After it's gone, and our heads pound, and those bruises we'll never understand.
And those simple one liners of perfect incitement are forever forgotten.
Then I went to one room, and he to another, guilt clinging to the air like damp.
Where dawn turned into day and was banished behind thick curtains that hung obediently by my slumbering form; aching, even in sleep.



Added: 27.04.2011

Judges' comments on this poem

04.05.2011

I liked it, but there were quite a few line break and punctuation problems.

04.05.2011

Atmosphere well created.

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